Цикл статей: Воспитание ребенка - секреты.
Так часто бывает в жизни:
Для начала рассмотрим жизненную и очень распространенную ситуацию: ребенок начинает весело дергать Вас за волосы или больно щипать. Вам больно – что Вы сделаете? Переведете в игру, искусственно «расплакавшись», или громко вскрикните? Поступив так, Вы совершите грубую педагогическую ошибку – Ваши слезы, мимику и вскрики кроха сейчас же поймет как забавную игру! А если так поступать регулярно - уж поверьте, эти, казалось бы, наивные игры могут перерасти, например, в конфликты в детском саду.
С другой стороны - "сдав сдачу" ребенку: ударив, ущипнув или укусив его в ответ - родитель поступает еще хуже... Ведь таким поступком на своем же примере он показыват - что делать больно, драться - это нормальное действие, а побеждает тот - кто сильнее. Такой ли урок Вы хотите преподнести своему малышу?
Поэтому, если случилось, что Ваше чадо сделало Вам больно, возьмите себя в руки и серьезно и строго скажите ребенку «нет», глядя ему в глаза. Лучше всего будет - если вкупе с этим, Вы схватите руку ребенка до того, как он ударит или щипнет. То есть предотвратите нежелательное действие, выразите запрет, а потом можно переключить внимание на что-нибудь другое.
Вам нужно научиться запрещать крохе - делать маме ( и другим) больно. Чем раньше вы это сделаете, тем лучше.
Только Ваша постоянная, стабильная и адекватная отрицательная реакция на проделки подобного рода, воспитает в ребенке внутренний «стоп-сигнал».
Некоторые родители пытаются ударить ребенка в ответ "чтоб неповадно было" - но это не совсем правильно, таким образом, они дают ребенку понять - что драка - это явление нормальное. Что вполне так можно выяснять отношения, тем более, если так родители поступают, а они - законодатели правил поведения для малыша. Единственное - сейчас крохе приходится считаться с законом "побеждает сильнейший", который не лучшим образом может отразится потом в его воспитании, например, когда он в садике будет решать свои проблемы силой, а не разумом.
С другой стороны, очень важно удерживать себя от злоупотребления словом “нельзя”. Таким словом нельзя разбрасываться направо и налево. Так Вы рискуете издергать своего ребенка запретами, запутать его, дезориентировать. Кроме того, при таком подходе ребенок вообще может начать игнорировать все запреты.
«Нельзя» - это «слово-паразит»
Остановимся на слове "нельзя". Это необычайно сильное резкое и неприятное слово, даже на слух. Часто слыша его и ожидая его впоследствии, ребенок теряет интерес к увлекательным для себя занятиям, развивающим играм. Не стоит злоупотреблять этим словом.
Важно отличать "нельзя" от "опасно". Опасно – это розетка, плита, утюг. Поговорите с малышом, объясните, чем именно опасны эти предметы. Скажите ребенку, что не хотите, чтобы ему было больно, что переживаете за него.
Волшебная трансформация «нельзя» в «можно»
В различных ситуациях, в большинстве случаев можно и нужно обойтись без категоричного запрета нельзя. Любое «нельзя» лучше перевести в «можно»!
Как это сделать? Если ребёнок бросает книгу на пол, старайтесь не говорить ему, что «так делать нельзя», сначала поднимите книгу с пола (оборвите нежелательное действие, погладьте ее (чтобы ребенок видел, что к книге Вы не равнодушны), и скажите лучше так: «Когда дети (стараемся лишний раз не "ТЫ-кать" в ребенка) бросают книгу на пол - книга рвется, теряется и убегает от детей – и тогда она больше не сможет рассказывать сказки и дарить радость! Книги нужно беречь!». И сразу же переключите внимание ребенка, например, на мяч: «А вот мяч бросать можно!». Следите, чтобы Ваш тон разговора был доброжелательным, не надо говорить на высоких тонах.
Без противоречий
Говоря о слове нельзя, хочется напомнить, что запрет должен быть последовательным. Если уж запрещено, то запрет не должен нарушаться. Ни при каких обстоятельствах. Ведь родители часто твердят нельзя, но, увидев слезы ребенка, в итоге смягчаются и разрешают. Если малышу хоть раз слезами удалось добиться разрешения, поверьте, он это запомнит. И будет пытаться вами манипулировать.
Прислушайтесь к этим простым советам, и это поможет Вам избежать неприятностей в дальнейшем.
P.S: Советую обратить внимание на комментарии к этой статье, там есть кое-что полезное: про слово "нет".
Вы также можете задать мне свой вопрос.
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